The Tehelka Foundation’s “Being Human” workshops were conducted from the 27th to 29th September at The Phoenix Child and Family Welfare Society, which is a community based, non-profit organisation based in Durban, South Africa.
The communities I work with in Durban are economically better off but on an emotional scale, the stories are just as heart wrenching! A mixed community of Indian, colored and black South African youth meet at the Phoenix Community center and Merebank in the last week of September, to embark on a similar journey of self discovery! Ironically, white South African schools continue to send lame excuses to keep their students away, despite repeated requests over the last 3 years!
These are children from economically well-placed families, going to some of the best schools in the area. Some are driven by goals of material wealth and fame, but I am dismayed to find that an unstable home background is a millstone most of the teenagers are battling, even those from Indian origin. With parents divorcing, re-marrying, new partners not wanting the responsibility of children from former marriages, the children are left with a crippling sense of abandonment, rejection and isolation.
“I fear what will happen to me if my father dies? My father is the only parent I have. My mother passed away five years ago. My father is married to another woman and they are starting their own family now. I am feeling left out but more importantly I feat that my father will forget about me. I also fear that my father will not pay for my education after grade 12 and I’ve come to a point that I don’t know whom to depend on, and that makes me sad…”
An important session in Durban is the one on Fear – battling one’s inner demons and darkness so that one can resolve and purge them from one’s system, and move ahead lighter and more centered in Love. There are the usual fears of creepy crawlies, dark spaces, loneliness, death, but also self doubt, a rejection of one’s own potential. A universal fear is of not being “successful” – as a marine biologist, a psychiatrist, or a soccer star …
“My dream is to be a singer but I have a fear that I become a rap singer people will be after me because I will be singing about people I don’t like. But I can change that by singing about the good things in life, but people don’t like songs like that. They only like songs about drugs, killing people, smoking and taking over the area they stay in…. I’m 16 years old…my life is hell and the place that I stay in is not very good.”
“Not becoming someone is another fear, because if you don’t become successful, you won’t live happily.”
“I wouldn’t call it a fear but I’m frustrated by how much there is to do and my inability to impact it all. My own community has many problems but my heart is in other communities and I am constantly reminded that people at home are needy too. I’m split between the smaller things like devoting time to education and giving individuals a chance and the larger – implementing social and political change. At the same time I am split between home and global issues – issues like HIV/ Aids and issues like freedom of movement and no borders. I don’t know and I am scared I’ll die not knowing.”
At the end of 3 days, the teenagers at the Phoenix Centre have shed some of their emotional baggage, their fears and stumbling blocks, moving closer towards feeling better about themselves. They understand the importance of taking responsibility for themselves in every which way - their emotions, actions, ambitions. Most importantly, of moving out of a space of victimhood to one of Empowerment.
“Being Human is something everyone needs to learn. So often in life, people go through life not realizing their true potential, because they are too afraid to be who they truly want to be and know themselves to be.
“The Visualization and Breathing Techniques were the most fun part of the workshops. It is amazing how less time we actually take to value ourselves. I found the trust exercises to be very stimulating and encouraged the group to participate. I would love to one day make positive change in others, similar to what you have done with us.” Aamir Abdul, Phoenix Community Centre, Durban, SA
- Puneeta Roy
A few pictures of the workshops:
